Friendship is The Answer

Since 2011, 30 of September is the International Day of Friendship. This day was proclaimed by the United Nations General Assembly with the idea that friendship between peoples, countries, cultures and individuals can inspire peace efforts and build bridges between communities. 

"On this International Day of Friendship, let us cultivate warm ties that strengthen our common humanity and promote the well-being of the human family. "

UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon

We can find countless stories that are turned into poems, books, movies, series, pictures, drawings and paintings about all kind of friendships. Friendship is something very primitive and relatable to most of the people in all cultures, ages and layers of the society. I know what is friendship, you know what is friendship and a person from another continent who comes from rural village also knows what is friendship. It has a power to unite and it is a very strong tool to encourage other people. A single friendship between two people can be life changing for many.
Instead of cultivating prejudices and hate towards new and unknown by hiding under the words "hate" and "enemies" we should want to understand and befriend it - either people, views or beliefs. Same advice works for individuals as well as conflicts in the world.
Friendship can be used as a great tool for women empowerment worldwide. Instead of connecting to other women and telling them what to do we should simply be supporting, understanding friends who give good advice. A good friend can help to become more confident and self conscious more than an inspiring article or video online. All we have to do is to take good care of the girls and women around us instead of criticizing each for our looks or behavior.
We are very diverse in the world and activists in some cultures want to appear as superior when it comes to feminism and gender equality. These activists are strongly convinced and are trying to convince the rest of the world that "we are right and you have to follow our example". Confidence is awesome and these actions are mostly driven by good intentions but it tends to patronize and discriminate activists from developing countries with the same views. And it is discouraging. That's why it is so important to have friends that are coming from different backgrounds, cultures and religions so we can unite and fight the real problems not each other!



Talking about good friendships...look IHBG team is growing, changing and moving around! Recently we met in Brussels, had amazing days together to refresh our knowledge and learn more about sexual and reproductive health and rights, communication, advocacy and plan new activities! Meantime we found few new and amazing friends so keep tuned to find out more!

And don't forget:
Happiness is only real when shared
J. Krauker

Happy International Day of Friendship!
Always yours,
IHBG

Friday is the (Inspirational) Movie Night: Turn Left at the End of the World (2004)

#inspirationalmovies

Somehow I've got the impression that there are more coming-of-age stories about boys than girls... and that's why the effort here is to pay attention to the ones telling the stories of girls, and preferably not only those made in USA. As a result of that, here you have Turn Left at the End of the World (2004, Avi Nesher).

The plot is that of an encounter of two girls - both immigrants in 1960's Israel - and forging a friendship while sailing the troubled waters of deciding futures, bending cultural restrictions, falling in love, discovering that people might not be the ones you believed them to be... the usual growing up stuff that hurts so much at the moment.

The most similar of our past suggestions is Towelhead (2007). Turn Left... is a much milder version of the cultural and sexual tensions, though. Sara and Nicole - the central characters of Turn Left... - are almost grown-ups themselves and in position to negotiate their lives with much more agency than little Jasira, despite the fact that the time and place depicted is supposedly so much more conservative.

Plus points are gained with:
- Scene of female masturbation (still too rare in movies).
- Depiction of a close friendship that's intense and sensual but does not enter the territory of a full-blown romance. Romance is good (see Show Me Love (1998) for that, by the way), of course. Nevertheless, there's a whole vast area of attractions and intimacies that happen in friendships that balance on becoming a love affair but never get there, and it's nice to see them depicted in cinema.

Friday is the (Inspirational) Movie Night: The Witches of Eastwick (1987)

#inspirationalmovies

You can, of course, analyze the classical piece that The Witches of Eastwick (1987, George Miller) is as a tale of seduction and revenge. But that's by far to easy... there's so much nuance in this + the perfect ending.

As I've claimed before, love interest, romance and passionate affairs can be - and often are, especially in cinema - the vehicles of empowerment and emancipation. This narrative can be rather predictable and slightly overused, but, hey, if the authors know how to show that it's not the man that has to be central to one's life in order to transform but an relationship offering an alternative mode of doing things that has a capacity to change people. Can be friendships. And can be romance. See examples here, here, here among many more. 
Yes, it is a heteropatriarchal way of constructing female emancipation. But better this than none, provided that the protagonists know what they are doing!

And The Witches... offer much more than just emancipation via Jack Nicholson.
You get the friendship that's prior to scandal and that remains afterwards. You get sexual emancipation based in pleasure and indulgence in bodies. You get creativity and playfulness. And you get the healthy realization that some things have gone too far and have to be gotten rid of.
It's a John Updike novel after all.

Friday is the (Inspirational) Movie Night: Tomboy (2011)

#inspirationalmovies

It may be very difficult for older people to admit, but the life of young - and very young - can be extremely complex. Classical literature is full of examples, but today's one is a recent French cinema gem.

Tomboy (2011, Céline Sciamma) offers a moving story about trying to fit in better in your own body while living in an extremely gendered world.

It will (well, it could, if you'll let it) get you thinking about:
- How little external appearance tells you about people. And how - at the same time - you should respect the signals people are sending. Even if that takes you into an uncharted territory (even beyond gender binary, uh oh).
- How much inner drama and struggle is brought up when you realize that you should make serious adjustments in order to fit in. Especially if you feel that you cannot share that with anybody. Especially if people assume that you are too young to have any coherent idea about what's going on.
- How beyond the "oh, children are so cruel" stands nothing more than the boxed thinking of the adults transmitting certain notions. You cannot expect little children - those people still just ordering basic ideas about human life - to question and bend the old toxic ideas right away. Adults should lead by example.

It's bittersweet, short, and very touching. What else do you need?

Friday is the (Inspirational) Movie Night: Alice in Wonderland (1951; 2010)

#inspirationalmovies

  

A double treat. Now, obviously, there are some significant differences between Disney's Alice in Wonderland (1951) and Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland (2010).

Disney's Alice is a family-friendly musical basically and only suffering depicted is Alice's existential anguish (+ cards/guards being carried away to be executed + the tension around the naive oysters + some cartoon-like violence). And you get singing/gossiping flowers, the adorable Dormouse, Dinah and the gullible oysters, the rather bipolar Caterpillar, etc...while the basic narrative could be "a girl wonders off and explores a bit". It's not as deep nor dense as the original books, but gives you a somewhat glamoured-up and coloured version of Alice-logic and Wonderland-logic.

Burton's version sequel of the classical story is much darker, much more violent and decisive... in the sense of bringing political power play, oppression, real insanity, death into the picture. The characters that were slightly off the hinge when Alice was young (read: in the books and the Disney movie) have gone quite awry and scary. And - as in most of the bring in the savior stories - Alice's duty (while nobody asked her if she wanted to have such) is to save their world/put the correct monarch in place.

The final verdict is as follows: Disney's Alice is a fun classic, an older and very white version of Dora the Explorer, about a girl enjoying her fantasy world; Burton's Alice is the over-and-over retold story of an unexpected child savior (see The Chronicles of Narnia, The Neverending Story, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, among many others). The only perk is the fact that he has interwoven that with the Alice narrative and explored Carroll's fantasy world and its creatures. Therefore, you pretty much have to be familiar with the books or the 1951 movies (as the golden standard among all the Alice-films) to understand where Burton comes from.
The old one is much better and you should know it by heart (the whole thing on giving yourself useful advices while challenging the rules of those around you, speaking truth to power, trying to balance being polite and not putting up with BS). Burton's Alice is interesting mostly just for his fans. And, well, yes, due to the fantasy world being offered as an escape from dreadful existence as female in Victorian England.  

 

On a lighter note, here you have the tune & video that Pogo has made from Disney's Alice. The singing flowers and such.

Friday is the (Inspirational) Movie Night: Spirited Away (2001)

#inspirationalmovies 

Spirited Away (2001, Hayao Miyazaki) goes into the same box as much of children's adventure. Like Dorothy or like Sarah, Chihiro finds herself in a situation that requires her to become a better person than she has been so far and a braver one, too.
And somewhat more like Baby, she's challenged to stand up for people she loves (with no sexual connotations though, this is a PG animation apt for children).

According to Academy Awards, this is the best movie of Miyazaki (won the Oscar as best animation in 2003) who has been creating meaningful girl characters and girl-centered films throughout his professional life (see Nausicaä, Satsuki and Mei, Kiki, or Sophie). Probably the most convincing feature of them all is the multidimensional humanness (the one that Disney princesses lack to some extent).
Chihiro - and other characters, like the adorable witch twin-sisters - is cranky, capricious, and indecisive at times. They are not the same with all the people. They are angry, afraid, hungry... Like anybody, you know. And still they have the most breathtaking, epic adventures.

Friday is the (Inspirational) Movie Night: Made in Dagenham (2010)

#inspirationalmovies

Made in Dagenham (2010, Nigel Cole) is a dramatization of the strike that brought "the Equal Pay Act 1970, the first legislation in the UK aimed at ending pay discrimination between men and women, and the first such legislation in the world".

While you can read more in wikipedia and your history books, here you have a very nice and uplifting version. It shows the tensions that collective action creates (and sure created when striking wasn't something that feminized professions did), and the overt discrimination, patronizing and economic exploitation to be experienced by women that led to the strike. Even more, a prominent place is dedicated to our ever alive foe of second shift and the double standard that is expected from working men and women. Nevertheless, there are also  pretty dresses 60's dresses, the spirit of female friendship and solidarity, and happy ending*.

Made for those Friday nights when your drive for activism and feministing is down and needs a boost. Made in Dagenham will do the job.

* Well, the ending is relatively happy as in the EU28 we are still some 16% on average below the male wage (and some more in US and other places), see the chart for 2012 data below.